If you had admin rights to my blog you could pull up a page where all of the posts written since this blog began in 2011 are listed. Those published and those...not. The ones written but not posted have a single word next to them in red...Draft.
I was having breakfast with a friend yesterday and he asked me about the book proposal I am (supposed) to be working on, and I shook my head, wrung my hands, and shifted in my seat. I remain so uncomfortable with even the discussion that I am going to be putting a book idea of mine in someone's hands. It is simply NUTTY. Suddenly I said, you know the real story of my life is found in the drafts on my blog.
There you go he responded without taking a breath, and you have the title.
Ummmm....I was kidding.
Was I?
Yes. I was...but this morning when I opened my blog to write, I suddenly found my eyes scanning the posts page. There is a lot of red listed there....five years worth.
Would I even DARE?!?!?!
I don't know.
I will say this though....just the concept has me thinking about all of things that go unsaid, unwritten in an individual's lifetime. Not just mine, but yours. How many times I have perused the words of Paul and wondered about all the words he didn't write....the things we don't know....my curiosity runs away from me in short order. How about you?
I don't know if I have the guts to write a book proposal and slip it across the table to a real-life publisher. I don't know that even if I do, it will be along the lines of what I have been writing the past five years - whether posted or draft. What I do know is....it might be time to go back and pull up those drafts and dive into the deep waters of things unsaid and wounds not yet healed. I have done a lot of brave work these past three months with a wonderful counselor. I want to be braver still. I am too far in now to turn back....and maybe there is healing in the drafts of my heart....because that is what this blog is to me - the written wringing out of my heart.
What do the drafts in your life say about you?
Are you ready to share?
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)
