Tuesday, April 26, 2016

The Promise

There is nothing more special than the gift of a promise...especially when that promise is made by God to  you. When he speaks to the deepest parts of your heart and soul and says, "This is what I want to do with YOU."

*Big Tears*

Last summer God gave me this promise (hint: it involves a train)...I didn't speak of it to anyone until a fateful call with a friend while I was criss-crossing the state on business...she described to me this theory on 'What If' she was reading about, and I verbally exploded on her of this dream/conversation I had experienced with God a few weeks prior. It was a FATEFUL conversation because it felt like confirmation that what I had KNOWN in my heart was true - God had made me a promise....and though I didn't know when or where or how it would come true, it was nonetheless real and personal...to me.....to God and I.

This is going to be a short post, but I needed to share this truth bomb (to me) this morning because that same friend and I were talking by phone yesterday and I was dumping truth bomb after truth bomb on them (#bless) as I unwound (I am wound pretty tight right now.) verbally with them about everything from counseling to work to kids growing up too fast to discussions around lack of sleep to God and his promises......and in that conversation we discussed the specific promise God had given me last year and how in the world he was going to pull that off (because we humans just love to question and doubt God #facepalm)....and I said the prophetic words..."Well, I am simply asking God to open doors and close doors and make it so very clear to me that I am on the right path because I believe in God and the promise I heard last year....and I just need to be faithful."

So....fast forward to a professional e-mail and a more personal e-mail hitting my inbox yesterday...and then this hitting my eyes this morning....


...AFTER waking up to some text messages that left me slack-jawed.

Let me tell you something.

Be faithful in your trust in God with the promises he has given you.

He just loves to SHOW OUT and answer you in the strangest ways and strangest times with exactly what you need (that you didn't know you needed) to respond to the question - is this real? will you close the wrong doors and open the right ones?

...and then you have to ask yourself....Am I brave? Am I willing to be brave?

Because that is the deal....God can open the doors and close the doors....but are you willing to cross the thresholds????

Am I?

I feel the Holy Spirit in my bedroom this morning so clearly that I swear if I close my eyes and reach out my hand....I can feel her.

*I just did that. My fingers tingled.*

I am at this strange crossroads of confessing all and inviting deep healing into my soul while also jumping off the high dive.

It is exhilarating and terrifying.

I need a good, long, deep, soul-wrenching cry.

There is a LOT of emotion going on inside of me these days.

Also, if this is what 45 feels like. I wish I had always been this age. :))))

Let this post encourage you today....God is in the roses and the thorns....he is a God of promises - healing those broken and giving you the ones you never dared dream. He needs us to be brave though....

The Israelites wandered for 40 years because when they were called up, they shrunk. They didn't have faith. When God called them up again with the craziest of requests....march around seven times....yada yada yada....What were they thinking??? Here we go again? Were there doubters among them??

I have this feeling they felt a little like they were in purgatory - they couldn't back - where? to Egypt? keep wandering around the wilderness? They felt unsure of moving forward - the strongest military in the world was on the other side of a wall. Ummm.....

So they had to choose. Fear or Faith.

Am I going to have faith that God's word is what it is....and keep walking in faith through and to it?

OR

Am I going to stand here and wander....aimlessly?

Counseling is my wall.

My deep and old pain and shame is my "world's fiercest military."

On the other side is everything God has ever promised me.

Am I brave?

Hold on...we are about to find out...

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)

4 comments:

  1. As always, hon, you hit all the right places. *crying*
    You have no idea (because I've been hiding and haven't told you) but I have been drowning in doubt and stopped dead in my tracks by such powerful uncertainty. "is this real? Am I crazy? What ever made me think I could do this? Why am I still trying?" Ugh. It's heartbreaking and shameful. Thank you for always speaking truth OUT LOUD so that those of us fumbling around in the dark behind you can hear it. "Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!" Luke 1:45

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    1. Heather I love you SO very much! Thank you for always encouraging me to speak my truth OUT LOUD because it is hard, but I know it is worth it. Missing and loving you across the miles!!!

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  2. Reading your blog this morning was no accident. I love the way you write and would love to chat with you about how you got started blogging. That may sound crazy, but I love to write and have a blog, but don't have the resources right now to pursue training in that area, but I find writing to be healing. I can relate to the fear and needing to be brave and shame. Shame has defined and controlled me for too long. I'm at a major crossroads in my life: divorcing after 20 plus years, an opportunity for a new beginning but fear at times is crippling. Afraid to trust that God is calling me to walk in faith and rise to a deeper level of relationship with Him. I keep giving into fear, it seems to be a companion of shame. So your exhortation to bravery resonates. Exhilarating and terrifying-yes! Through you He is telling me to walk by faith. Counseling is uncovering the root to so much of the shame in me, I pray you continue to grow as God pulls you out of your comfort zone and uses you mightily!

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    1. Karen, I am so sorry that I am JUST NOW seeing your comment. I would be more than happy to chat, but I can tell you the pathway to starting a blog is VERY simple....and why I started it and why I continue it now are very similar yet different reasons, but no doubt God led me to start writing again...and in so many ways it has saved me. You can e-mail me at sunshinedreams2u@gmail.com if you ever want to connect more and chat. Thank you so much for reading and the encouragement! I so appreciate it!

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