Thursday, January 7, 2016

Chaos - The View From The Other Side


It Is Well came on this morning while I was getting ready, and I suddenly looked around my bathroom - clean, organized, purged; looked in the mirror - relaxed, peaceful, dare I say at ease; I laughed.

It is well with my soul.

How do I know that?

Well....people keep telling me that my eyes, body language...everything...seems at rest. I am winding up some things from the purge that should (by the world's standards) take me out, and they are not. At. All. Finally, I feel it.

I. Feel. It.

I have operated in chaos for so long, I am an alien in a foreign land here in Peaceville. I barely know how to act. It is like learning to walk again, and yes I do feel a little like a toddler because there is a lot of joy to finding my footing (read that as NO frustration) again.

The truth is that it doesn't hurt that I am still receiving just the loveliest of messages (majority of them private) from people getting "packages" as the deliveries continue into the new year (at least this first week). I know that not all of the packages arriving will be received with the same spirit with which they were mailed, and I am perfectly at peace with that. No, really. Trust me, I am as surprised as you might be to read that.

I am getting a lot of questions about what is next? What does 2016 hold for you? What are you going to do with all of this newfound knowledge? Are you afraid?

Nope. {head shaking side to side as I type that}

I am definitely not afraid. On the rest, I simply don't know. I am waiting. Ironically, patiently waiting.

Let me say this, that for all of the days and moments in the past three years that I absolutely positively did not think I could finish....that I could not go on....everything I have gone through, sacrificed, bore....absolutely, positively, completely worth it. This feeling is basically indescribable. My posture. My spirit. No words.

In one of my notes last week I wrote, "I am at peace, and I wish for this feeling for you with all of my heart." Those words came out of nowhere and yet somewhere because they were birthed out of a spirit at peace.

I wish this feeling for everyone.

I know there will be new challenges, another wilderness season(s), and I am at peace with that too. Part of what I have learned is to celebrate the completion and the wholeness, and in so doing that, I am prepared for battle when those come back around. There can be no loss if there has first not been a victory. I have experienced immeasurable loss in my 44 years, and I am finally....finally learning to accept and celebrate the victories. Life is about both. A life at peace is accepting that.

If you are sitting here at the ledge of the beginning of 2016 and the chaos of your life is swirling around you, I need you to know this....you can make it out alive, and that what is better on the other side (whatever that other side looks like for you) is better than you can imagine. Whatever the task. Whatever the journey. Whatever the wilderness. It can be well with your soul.

In 2012, I fell to my knees and I said, "I give."

God said, "Finally."

....and he said that in perfect and complete unconditional love as he enveloped me pulling me close.

Finally.

Maybe 2016 is your "I give." moment for this, that, or the other; maybe the other is your whole life needs a re-work.

If it is, the first step, my first step, is to fall to your knees, unclench your fists, and give up all claims to power - power over your life, your work, your heart, your dreams, your beliefs....every stronghold in your heart and mind. There is a higher calling for each of us, but the secret is you have to give up everything to reach it. The world tells us differently, and that is why we all seem to take so long to get there.

I am at peace, and I wish for this feeling for you with all of my heart.

Thank you God. Your love amazes me...more and more each day.

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

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