Today starts my final FULL weekend of purging...three years. The next three weekends are full of surprises and holidays so this is IT. Next week starts the last full week and it will be the cherry on top (another post).
So...this weekend I have to wrap up all of the hanging chads from all the various areas...a box of photos here and there, some piles of books, a rogue closet....then the final mass shipping of the last of my "gifting" and another round of donations to drop off or ship on Monday. My jeep is already full so this is clearly going to happen in phases.
On top of this, I have the regular...dishes, trash out, laundry, and grocery shopping.
Finally, I have Christmas cards to finish and a few gifts to pick up.
God woke me up at 5:30 a.m. this morning and I was about to start whining out loud and then he reminded me of my massive to do list. I explained how tired I was...how I was emotionally spent from a long week at work...and there was no empathy...but he did give me a burst of energy. By 7 a.m., I had dishes loaded and running, laundry started, and coffee brewing. On a Saturday.
I want to quit.
On any given day I have wanted to quit and/or want to quit. The struggle is as real as you can imagine.
Yesterday one of my tribe showed up at my office to hang stuff in my office. An office I have been in for 20 months with nothing on the wall. It looks AMAZING! Hours later, another member of my tribe surprised with a hug and a visit...she said the spirit had moved her...I know that it did. By the time she arrived, I had cried ALL the tears twice (I did it one more time before the day ended around 7:30 p.m. and I headed home). I told her I wasn't sure if I could make it. I confessed the silence of God. I told her how tired and stressed I was...and on and on. Then I told her all I could count on was God. I was being forced to rely on a higher power because all of my earthly and human strength were completely gone. Gone.
...and wasn't that the point?!
I have the best tribe.
I am so grateful that God gave me such a beautiful tribe that have been his feet and hands...not to mention hugs and words...in my life this past three years.
So, on one of the most stressful work days of my year...on the most stressful work month of my year...on the eve of the craziest weekend of my #threeyearpurgefest...God sent little angels to whisper and hug and pray his strength and encouragement into me.
God, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.