In the past three weeks, I have gravitated between panic and elation as I had some stark realizations about my future. I am surrounded and counseled by people MUCH smarter than myself on top of which I have been gifted a tribe of people who speak real truth into me with TONS of love...truth that is both beautiful and hard.
The concept of tribe is real people. Get one. Find one. Cultivate one. Game. Changer.
Earlier this week I finally just came unwound with one of my tribe about the panic and elation I was feeling and how I felt like it was suffocating me, and she proceeded to tell me about this concept she had been studying....how humans are always what if this or that but mostly worrying and thinking only the worst...what if we converted that to what if God provides this or opens this door? The idea is why are we giving all of this what if power to the devil instead of to God? Why do we believe the bad before the good? The worst before the best?
The concept has proceeded to BLOW. My. Mind.
So since that conversation a handful of days ago, I have spent the hours that I can't sleep (UGH! Insomnia!) playing the what if game with God. When the days have gotten hard at work, I have found myself daydreaming. This morning, as I sat in bed with a cup of coffee at 6 a.m. (on a Saturday for the love...why can't I sleep???), worrying about stuff that happened last week and what is coming up next week...suddenly I went out to Pinterest (I gravitated there last night to create some new boards ;)) and started dreaming again...What if God?
It is the most amazing thing!!!
Then it hit me, I had stopped dreaming.
I mean deep dreams....not the dreams like I hope the company hits $ this year...or I hope the cabin sells...or I hope my doctor check-up goes well this time...or I hope I finish this purge goal by the end of the year....or I hope I get my to do list done today/week/month/quarter/year....
I cannot stop laughing and crying typing this out.
Dear Lord, how long have I been dead inside?
Thank you Pinterest.
In the age of Pinterest, you can create boards and pin ideas and likes and loves and dream electronically and go back to it and learn about stuff you once loved or have never loved before or just see what is possible out there...in the big, BIG world.
I don't think my happiness in this moment is as much about any one particular new/old dream, as much as it is simply the fact that something deep inside of me is being unearthed...something old, something new....an idea that there is a moment in my future where and when a door will open, and I can do ANYTHING. God will be there as the ultimate wing man, and there is going to be an adventure. The one I always dreamed I would have, but life with all of its responsibilities and bills and brokenness and ick got in the way.
What if God...?
I am not a very good blogger because I don't challenge people or engage people the way I hear/read that I "should" with this format, but today...I am. I beg of you if you are reading this to ask yourself, "What if God provided this? Gave me this? Opened this door? Showed me this? Healed this? Fixed this? What. If.???
Give your heart permission to dream again. The deep, good stuff.
God is waiting for you there. Right. There.
For help with this concept, check out this book...Living from the Unseen by Wendy Backlund paying particular attention to the chapter "Fix Your Eye" which starts with 2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)