Saturday, October 4, 2014

Choices: Who Am I? What Breaks My Heart?

I have just spent three and a half days with my friend Sherri (#C7) at Catalyst in Atlanta and an amazing group of change makers including men and women I know in my every day life...and a lot of men and women I admire from afar. #mindblown


I think the most amazing part were the other people there...the amazing number of men and women who are looking for ways to impact others in their every day life. Let me say to the thousands upon thousands of men, women, and children being led by these people. You. Are. So. Lucky.

The church is in good hands.

Scratch that.

The church is in GREAT hands.

It is difficult to continue to be fearful of your future, or bitter over the disappointments in your past, when you have Ann Voskamp, Jen Hatmaker, Jennie Allen, Christine Caine, Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler, and a host of others expressing their own fears, setbacks, challenges, etc.

I went to Catalyst not knowing quite what to expect. It was my first time...I had never even heard of it before a few months ago...and qualified??...I was wondering what someone like me was going to an event full of church leaders and social entrepreneurs. Yikes!!!!

Then my calendar for October and November started filling up with various events and trips....and then I arrived at Catalyst, listened, observed, and took it all in...

Now I am wondering if God is really calling me to more..am I finally ready to accept the baton???

Last night in the airport in Atlanta, I wrote and wrote and wrote (not posted yet) not because I wanted to, but because I was compelled to by a full heart and itchy fingers. I sat there in a mass of humanity and wondered out loud on a keyboard how my small life could impact...well, anybody...

The church needs me. The church needs you. The church needs us.

I thought of the dozens of stories I had written about Haiti (some posted and some kept private). I thought of the children who are growing up learning about Jesus in orphanages all over the world. I then thought about the little boy who cracked through steel walls and broke my heart for the least of these.

Who am I? What breaks my heart?

Good. Grief.

Andy Stanley asked us those two questions in Session 1 of Day 1 (though that was on the heels of my day one of Catalyst Labs the previous day). Seriously?!?!

Who am I? What breaks my heart?

I challenge you to sit down with those two questions and see what you come up with....

I am wrestling with my own answers today...and let me say with only five days until I am back in Haiti....the wrestling is BRUTAL.

Right now I am having a pretty intense love/hate battle with God over my answers. I both love and loathe where He is taking me....the loathing comes from INTENSE fear...but no excuse. I am terrified.

Who are you? What breaks your heart?

In the sea of responsibilities, to do lists, and demands....those two questions may set you on a new course in unchartered water......look for me....I will be the one doggie-paddling. ;) :)))

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)