Monday, January 7, 2013

The End of an Era


Those that know me very well are currently rolling in laughter because they know what this picture is of...those that don't me as well are probably going, "Huh??!!"

The above is a picture of my favorite pajama pants.  They were once flannel, but after more than a decade of heavy use, they feel more like Egyptian cotton.  And yes, I did say that I had worn them over a decade...approximately 13 years to be more exact.  I am clearly a girl who likes what she likes and sticks with it until...well until it (quite literally) wears out (envision big giant tear hole). I was devastated yesterday when I discovered the hole in my favorite britches.  I pondered over whether the tear was reparable....I even thought about saving a piece of them for a quilt...for posterity and all. :)

Before you go all nuts thinking I have completely lost it, let me note that I bought these and a similar/matching pair of boxer shorts for my nephew at the same time.  I was living in Nashville at the time, he was about 2 years old.  I would try to drive to Jonesboro (where they lived) to see him/them about every other weekend.  I look back now and wonder how I did not fall over from exhaustion considering I had a hectic job at the time with Bank of America and was taking MBA classes at night at Belmont University. All I can say is that I loved those kids with all of my heart, and I missed them terribly....And let me say they didn't make it easy on me.  Every Sunday, as it would near time for me to head back to Nashville, they would hide my keys, start whining, and then give me the most pitiful faces...but Sam. Sam was the worst. He would walk slowly up to me, and as I leaned down on my knees to look in his face and give him hugs and kisses...he would have these giant tears in his eyes, face all red and puffy, and then as I started hugging him, he would just start heaving....and then he would start begging me to stay barely able to mutter through all of the tears. It was heart-wrenching.  We would all be a blubbering mess by the time I pulled myself away, and I would cry all the way back to Nashville. *Sigh*

So....these are special britches...:)  So I texted Sam and my Sis (Hilde) to let them know I was going to have to "put them down"...:)))...Sis responded with, "the end of an era"...ahhhh...

I digress.

I guess it is human nature to try and hold onto things past their useful lives.  I know my nature is to buy and use only things that really mean something to me.  I have never really been into buying a lot of stuff for stuffs sake.  In fact, when I do go through a heavy acquisition period of stuff (whether clothes, books, treasures, etc.), I tend to do a massive purge soon after to sort of recalibrate and bring some balance back to my life.  In a lot of ways, 2013 is already shaping up to be that kind of "recalibration" period...a year long purge (so to speak). 


So here I have made a treasure of a simple, worn pair of pajama bottoms, and I don't know whether to laugh uncontrollably at myself or simply go commit myself to the nearest funny farm.  So, what do I do??...I sit down at my laptop and write about it.  Nah, that isn't embarrassing or anything. :)))

I digress...again. :)

I have decided to cut myself a little slack about the whole thing.  I know it is silly. I know I am an odd duck. I know that it isn't simply about a pair of pjs. It is about a door closing, leaving the past in the past, acknowledging a sweet and special time, and it is about the relationship with a little boy who made my world richer just because he was in it.  A boy who is, all too quickly, growing into a handsome, incredible, funny, flawed, spiritual, competitive, fine young man. 

My "babies" are growing up, and maybe...just maybe...their Aunt Heather is growing up a little too. 

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I don't see a silly pair of pajamas...I see a life...my life. 

I am a girl that moves to the rhythm of her own heartbeat...Every. Day.  That choice brings me tremendous joy, but it also brings me tremendous pain.  At the end of the day, I am always striving to be true to who I am...true to what I believe to be real and important. True to my own heart.  I am being as brave as I can be, brave as I know how...Every single day. I don't know if that is enough, but it is everything I got.

"Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship." ~ General Omar Bradley

Sometimes the path less traveled is long, winding, and lonely...and hard on your britches. ;)  It is also exciting, chock full of lessons and experiences, never boring, and the most interesting characters enter/leave/remain in your life sharing the breadth and depth of their life experiences with you. *Sigh*

It is clearly time for a new pair of pajama bottoms; I sure hope they can handle all that is waiting for them...for as this era ends...a new one is just beginning. ;)

happiness

...and I do so love to travel. ;)

Happiness...the one thing that makes every era...amazing. :)))

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)