Saturday, April 13, 2013

Shattering the Bully in the Mirror


I am a person...a woman...who has NO clue of my own limitations.

There....I said it.

Now, for the rest of the story....there are moments, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years within the span of my life that this statement was not true for me.  I am human; I have doubts.

Yesterday...was not one of those days.

:)))))

Yesterday will go down as one of the coolest days of my life solely because three people took the time to reach out to me and without knowing it, made me feel that I was on the right path....albeit, in three very different ways and for three very different reasons.

Encouragement is not a four letter word, and one we should all take the time to do more of...with everyone...people we know well, people we don't know well, strangers, friends, co-workers, family, etc....

We need to be an encourager of others.  We need to help others defy the limitations they have grown to believe about themselves, about their world, about their futures.

I went to a ministry retreat last October, and one of the phenomenal women I met there nicknamed me the "Encourager" of our little group that seemed to band and bond together virtually immediately...and I have been reminded of that as I was encouraged so much yesterday....and I took pause....because I need to BE that more in my life...Every. Day.  I want to represent the faith in me that person had...that I am a great Encourager of others.  All others.

So with that said....



If you know me, you know that my love of Robert Frost knows no bounds. This quote is a great example of why.  Bullying is the very opposite of encouraging.  Let that sink in.  I am not sure that our society, as a collective whole, understands how much bullying we all do, WE, every day in our words, actions, e-mails, etc.  If you are not encouraging someone, I think it is healthy to take a look and make sure you are not, in reality, bullying them....if even ever so slightly.

We are a society that has forgotten that it is okay, even healthy, for all of us to not believe the same things.  It is okay that we are not exactly alike. It is okay to be different. 

I, as a person, too often forget this as well...yesterday when I received encouragement by three different people, in three very different ways, I was reminded not only that I am okay...who I am is blissfully okay, but I was also reminded that I need to not bully myself into silence.

*Sigh*

Yeah I said it, and sadly I do it.  Screw the multiple people that try to put a muzzle on me through their own bullying of me.  The real culprit I am suddenly keenly aware of is myself.  I bully me.  I bully myself with fear, doubt, negative thoughts, past mistakes, insecurities, knowledge of people out there that I know don't like me, don't respect me, have hurt me....all that ICK....hangs over me, and I allow it to define me. Define who I am. Define who I show to the world. Define who I see in my own reflection in the mirror. Define me.

*Ugh*

Enough.

I am going to work to turn this page.  I am going to turn it for myself.  I am going to turn it for others.  I am going to work at being an encourager of myself.  I am also going to work harder at being an encourager others...Every. Day...and more...and more....and more.

*Tears*

The growth I am feeling is at times incredibly painful. It is hard work.  My God is working on me in ways I could never have imagined.  My world is working on me in ways I have never experienced.  I am pushing on 42, and some days I feel like that 18 year old embracing the great big world that lay before her. I swear my beliefs, my core, my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams...are all changing...some are getting stronger, some weaker. They are growing, being re-defined. Things I have known to my core were black and white are suddenly blissfully gray.  Some things that have always been gray, are now black and white. What I want to be when I grow up has evolved, and is evolving...Every. Day.  What I believe I can be when I grow up is evolving...Every. Day.

Maybe all of this is how everyone feels.  Maybe I am on the verge of a mid-life crisis. :))))  I don't know.  What I do know is that I am happier with who I am, and who I am becoming than I have ever been at any point in my 41 years...Ever.

My name is Heather Ruth Nelson, and ladies and gentlemen....I may have finally reached emotional adulthood. (my old friend John H. is laughing hysterically right now)  Okay, maybe I am finally reaching...that might be too bold of me to claim I have arrived...yet. :)

Life is about change.  No one knows that better than I do.  I am blessed to have an outlet for the craziness that rattles around my mind 24/7 and boomerangs inside my heart. I was reminded by events yesterday that people read this blog of only my musings, and while I am blown away by that fact...I also recognize that I have a responsibility...not to the readers, but to myself to always remain honest...in this space...here.  I don't always post what I write, but what I do post needs to be my own.  My writing is, in all honesty, teaching me who I am.  I am not sure that I have always been crystal clear on that. In fact, I know I haven't....so, thank you for reading...if you are out there; what a blessing you are to this novice writer. :)))

So, what is the point today....

Don't let yourself be defined by others...not even yourself.

Be an ENCOURAGER of others....even the others that don't believe the same way you do. We all have our own path. We each deserve the opportunity to walk that path that is our own. {Truth.}

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ~ Mother Teresa

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

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