Thursday, March 21, 2013

Where You Are



For the sake of this post, lets just say I am "making one"...
 
:)))
 
Sometimes the best place to be is exactly Where. You. Are.

My devotional this morning was entitled "Truth In Love"....Ahhhh...I was loving it already after reading only the title....

How is it that we miss (and mess up) Ephesians 4:15 so much...Every. Day.  All. Of. Us.....???

There is this song right now that is just burned into my head entitled "Where You Are" by Gavin Degraw, and although it initially made me think of someone from 20 years ago...it has grown on me to also make me ponder on my relationship with Christ, my view and relationship of/with myself, and my life...today and tomorrow...and every day thereafter. 

When I was young(er)...;)...I thought I was so wise, introspective, perceptive...blah, blah, blah.  I didn't know squat. One of the things you learn with age is that so much of what we always thought was black and white...simply isn't.  What we thought was gray...so NOT.  We didn't really know much of anything...really...:)

My truth. Well, that is simply my truth. Not yours, or anyone else's. Simply mine. Yet...whatever my truth is, if it isn't based in love...if it isn't shown, taught, spoken, exampled in love....then it is hollow...for me.

I have spent my life trying to find a way.  My latest lesson...I have been making my own way, my own truth...All. Along.  Jesus has had his hand on me the entire way...leading me by not leading me.

Huh???

The greatest loves are those that are unconditional...that love us through the best and worst times of our lives...that cheer us on when we have given them no reasons...that urges us forward even when giving up is oh so much easier.

When everyone else has broken me, let me down, walked away, disowned me...I am never, ever really alone. I know as well as I know anything, that the fact of that truth has saved/is saving my life again and again...Every. Day.

I have some of the largest professional responsibilities of my life. I have more opportunities to travel, help, advise, consult, write...than I could have ever imagined....and YET all I want to do is go see if two dear friends of mine are right and that a path I could never have imagined has found me...only to change me in ways I cannot even imagine. When I think about the opportunity to help...to see if I can help...to see something I can't really imagine...I can't stop smiling.

I am smiling from the inside out.

Wow.

Somehow the path I have made...has led me to where I am...which is exactly where I am supposed to be...and where I will be for each additional day I am blessed with...

Where. You. Are.

I have traveled a million miles to get to this place in time. I am perfectly content allowing the doors (and windows) to open as they are...I am relaxed even in the changes and chaos that envelope me. I know that it is all going to be okay. I have zero idea why. :)))) 

Sorry...that made me laugh out loud. 

I do strategic planning for a living...

Still laughing...:)))

I can't remember ever feeling as content as I feel in this moment. It is the most peaceful, pure aura (and no I am not losing it) that has come over me...Ever.

I don't know what any of this rambling could possibly mean to anyone else, but let me just say that sometimes the right answers are the scariest choices. Sometimes the right answers hurt. Sometimes the right answers leave us broken...but not forever. Whatever your belief...I make no secret that mine is Jesus...there is more out there for us, guiding us, loving us, holding us....even when we are broken, even when we are alone....especially when we are alone. To know that....to share that with others who are broken, scared, lonely, hurting...is a gift.

Someone told me once that "broken" people...children especially...relate to me because they sense the broken child that still resides in me.

Yup.

I get it.

...and that boys and girls is when I started seeing my truth...my "special" gift. I am done fighting it.  I have no shame. There is a broken child in me...and no amount of love while I reside on Earth is going to ever fix it...but it can be used to help others.  I just had to accept it and get past my own pride and ego that I was all fixed up. That "I got it"....I don't. He does. He has a plan too...and I am but a pawn...dang it. ;) :)

I am not one of those that believes you can be "fixed"...what I believe in is that God's grace is bigger than my pain. Bigger than my shortcomings. Bigger than any mistake or sin I ever made/committed. I believe he has taught me with my pain, through my pain...through my mistakes. He taught me empathy. He taught me love. He taught me forgiveness. He taught me that good-byes are sometimes necessary, and that I will survive them. He taught me that where you are, when in him, is wherever he wants you to be.

...and that is too deep even for me....:)))

Where are you? Who are you? Really. 

Are you finding a way? Making a way? Just surviving?

I am a work-in-process. No more. No less.

I am falling in love with my life anew.  It is a hell of a ride. I am making my way. I am...Where. You. Are.

Always.

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

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