Saturday, December 29, 2012

Do Better ~ Be Better

"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we took too long to make."

Well...okay...that pretty well sums it up.

Seriously, I love this quote, and I do not find it a bit strange that I came across it today as I work on my 2013 Goals.  The sad part of working on my goals for next year, is that as I review my 2012 Goals....I checked off so few of them.  Okay....I only checked off one of them. *Sigh* AND *Ugh*

I even came up with my own hash tag #2013dobetterbebetter, and I believe that might be my overarching goal for 2013. Yup. :)

I have been writing out goal lists since I was nine years old.  It was born out of the sudden chaos in my home life; it has survived as a real anchor for me.  It helps me stay focused and avoid some of my private fears and weaknesses.  One of them, getting too caught up in my own head. I just rolled my eyes as I wrote this...now chuckling to myself. 

I digress...

Fear is paralyzing.  Even at nine years old, my survival instincts kicked in, and I fought for normalcy and control in my little world that felt like it had been hit by an atom bomb.  In some ways it had, and don't let anyone ever try and sell you that physical pain is more damaging than emotional...they are a liar.

So now, as an adult, I use this goal making skill set to pull myself from my hidey hole of fear in my head, and move into the life that God intends for me...that I was born for...where happiness lives and fears die.  That might sound a little dramatic, but I am a firm believer that fear is of the devil, and frankly, his weapon of choice with us...with me.  I also believe that it is true no matter what religion you practice...all religions I have studied tend to emphasize love over fear.  Hmmm....

I digress...Again. :)

Sooooo....

Back to my goal list for 2013. :) 

I went back to Franklin Covey basics (I have been a Franklin Covey addict since 2008) and re-read their recommended goal planning basics.  I then tweaked them for my "special needs" and broke out four overarching categories: personal, professional, passion/dreams, financial.  I then sub-divided each of those into physical, social/emotional, mental, spiritual (Franklin Covey recommends these).  Financial was my lone holdout...it really has to be its own nightmare category...and lets be honest, it impacts EVERYTHING. :)

Once I started throwing my long goal list into categories...I quickly recognized part of how I had gotten out of whack in 2012. *Sigh*  Read ~ girl needs balance ~ *Sigh*

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So. Here we are.  A new year less than 72 hours away.  I have to say that I feel this year coming on more than I have others, and I know that because it has taken me nearly eight hours to draft this post.  This is weighty stuff for me; I sure hope it helps someone out there reading it...

A little over six months ago while back in Little Rock on business, I sat in Fantastic China (eating a FABULOUS dinner), and I contemplated the options that lay before me...personal, professional, passion/dreams, and financial.  Nope, I didn't plan that correlation...:)  I sat there making list after list of pros and cons...and honestly, heartbreak.  By the time my fortune cookie came that night, I was completely perplexed at my lot in life.  When I cracked it open it read, "You will make a change for the better within the year."  My mouth literally dropped open.  I took a picture of the fortune, sent it to a few close friends, and I made it the wallpaper on my IPhone (where it remains today).  I had ZERO idea what the heck it meant, but I knew without a doubt that whatever lay ahead was exactly where I needed to be; that cookie gave me a shot of much needed hope.  {Thanks God.}

I write all of that to make this point.  For all of my planning, my great ideas, my hopes, my dreams, my passions, my loves, my friends, my career, my family, my faith...change happens...Every. Day.  We can't stop change.  We can't control it.  We can manipulate it.  We can roll with it.  We can adapt to it.  We CANNOT stop it.  Just say no to trying to...and while you are at it...stop whining about it too.

Sorry....soapbox digression...:)

I knew on a fateful Sunday afternoon in late January of this year that my life, as I knew it, was over.  Change happens in an instant.  It has taken me just under a year to move my life forward, to unwind (to what degree I can (and honestly want to)) my life from a path I both loved and wanted more than I wanted breath. Sometimes I feel like I spent 2012 being rolled in the surf, crashed by waves, slammed into the bottom, and finally, mercifully tossed upon the shoreline...battered, bruised, gasping for air, head pounding, and more than slightly disoriented.  It is funny (not ha ha) to look back at the difference a year can make.

Everybody has their limits..

Shaking my head...

All of that said, planning is AWESOME.  I love it. I need it. I want it. It is good for me...for my personality.  Planning though, does not replace or prohibit change or the will of others OR the will of God from turning all your plans to dust. 

I have lots of glorious plans for my life in 2013....in my personal life, professional life, in living more of my passions and dreams....and financial (ah the great equalizer in planning...we all have to contend with this category).  Overall though, I want to do better in 2013.  I want to BE better in 2013.  No matter what happens....those can be two I can check off the list this time next year. :) ;)

So here is to 2013...to the goal lovers, big planners, dreamers, doers, change agents, lovers of life, to those who will have the courage to meet every day with their very best.  Here is to doing better with each day given to us like a beautifully wrapped gift.  Here is to being better to ourselves and to others.

"When a goal matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to accomplish what at first seemed impossible." ~ Nido Qubein

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)