Tuesday, December 18, 2012

31 Days of Joy ~ Day 18

Gail brought me the most joy today because Gail is helping me to bring my body back to "me"...

I have gone to Gail for deep tissue and therapeutic massages for over 10 years.  She can do everything from a nice simple massage to borderline physical therapy.  She is licensed and honestly...amazing.  I have referred dozens of people to her, and I have yet to hear one negative thing about her or her work. Back in high school, I was in a bad wreck. I had permanent damage and finding Gail 10 years ago was the most relief I had ever found.  Period.  Up until two years ago, I had a standing monthly appointment with her.

That is the background...

As I started working in Little Rock more and more this fall, and now permanently, I called Gail to get in to see her; I knew I needed help.  I have had a standing appointment with her every 1-2 weeks for a couple of months now.  I cannot even repeat the words she has used to describe the state of my body. *Sigh*

Let me just say that stress is one of those tricky things that you know when you are stressed, but you don't know the extent of how said stress is impacting you...mind, spirit, and body...until you start working to counteract it (i.e., heal thyself).  *Good Grief*

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I have been joking with Gail after each session, "Boy you really worked me over this time; you are back to the old days (deep, deep tissue)." To which Gail would politely chuckle each time, "I'm going easy on you." Deflated, with aching muscles...EVERY muscle, I would shake my head.  Gail is one of the sweetest, most encouraging people.  She continues to remind me that I put my body through hell for 20 months, and it will take awhile to unwind all of that built up stress. *Sigh*

That gets us to today....

My hip has been killing me.  Talk about feeling my age.  I mean, it impacts my sleep, my walk...it hurts nearly non-stop.  I dreaded telling Gail about it today before my session.  I also dreaded, when I did tell her, that I had not taken some Ibuprofen beforehand. :( 

Let me just say, my mascara was ruined by the end of my 90 minute session.  Pure pain!  When she had gotten to my hands, there was shooting pain through my entire hand to my finger tips while she worked on it. I asked her about it, and she explained the amount of stress one can hold just in their hands, their fingers even.  *Big Sigh*

Before I left today, Gail gently reminded that we would get there...I would find my "real" body again. She said, "Honey, you have a lot of built up **** for us to work out of there."  I had to laugh.

I realize all of this may sound like a running advertisement for Gail, and if it makes you want to call her...I would recommend it and she certainly deserves all the praise I can heap on her. 

That said, selfishly this is a commentary on how we can let ourselves go...I am not talking necessarily about weight or wrinkles or the like...I am focused on stress.  I have put my body through hell over the past two years.  I willingly, like an idiot, sacrificed my health and well being for work, people, things...all with good intentions mind you, but the cost was too high.  As I pay the bill, so to speak, in unwinding the physical damage, I have realized the price was way too high....for me. 

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Yesterday morning I wrote a long note of thanks (deep gratitude really) to one of my oldest and dearest friends.  In it, I noted a particular painful lesson I had learned this year "in a year of painful lessons"...I found it stunning that I am so lucid regarding these lessons...and not under a bus. *Insert Nervous Laughter Here*

Which reminded me...

Years ago, I would name my years before they started....an overarching theme for my hopes for the year to come.  As I look back on 2012, it has been "The Year of Lessons"...one right after the other.  I may have whiplash (which would explain some of my physical pain :))....AND I am okay with that...I am grateful that I am still learning...growing...trying.

I digress...

Bottom line, I feel tremendous, overwhelming joy today for the healing that Gail is bringing to my physical body.  It is slower than I want it to be, but it is getting better...stronger.  Ironically, as my muscles heal, so does my spirit.  As the stress is being worked out of the deep recesses of my body, I am letting go of the many lessons with a big old check mark beside each and every one of them. Check. Done. Next.

Thank you to Miss Gail.  For being a healer and a friend.  For beating me up, bruising me, and reminding me that there is great joy in healing.

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Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)