Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Hoarder Within

I woke up this morning to a new article in Time magazine on hoarding (link provided for your reading pleasure).  I thought about posting it on several friends' Facebook pages, sending a few e-mails, and printing it (THIS is my greatest fear) to post on my refrigerator. :)

Brigitte Sire / Getty Images

This past weekend, I spent two days going through boxes of stuff that I had piled up in my home office in the chaos of fifteen months ago.  As I started unpacking them, it felt one part Christmas, and one part disgust.  I found myself shaking my head wondering how I had allowed myself to let the volume of stuff get to this point. 

Consider me a girl convicted.

One thing I have learned over the past year and a half is that I can live in a much (MUCH) smaller space.  I have learned that I have way too much stuff.  I have learned that it is not healthy to add up in your head how much you have spent on....well, books for instance. :)  I have learned that there is a fine line between OCD and hoarding, and I have hopscotched between the two repeatedly over the past couple of years. :)  I have learned that the list of things I actually need is way, way less than the things I want....and I need to focus on the former more than the latter. *Sigh*

 ...and that is the short list...

The truth of the matter is that there is a little bit of a hoarder in all of us.  It is completely natural to hold on to items, people, dreams, desires, beliefs that you love....completely natural.  The bigger question is when does it become an obsession....a stumbling block?  Hmmm....let that sink in.  I am, and I am none to happy with where that question has led me.

I have to be honest.  I come from a line of hoarders so to fact that I have allowed some of that to creep into my life (in big and small ways) is...well, it is hard to look myself in the mirror.  I am though...*Ugh*

I digress. :)

We have too much.  All of us have far, far TOO much.  We have too much stuff, too much baggage (physical and emotional), too much space, too much...too much.  I have TOO much.

I am in the middle of the purge of my life.  I am purging the inside, the outside, the possessions, the emotional baggage, my personal financial balance sheet (literally and figuratively)...I need to lean down.  I am drowning in stuff to the point that I cannot breathe.  Maybe I have been hiding in it and/or behind it.  Maybe it is much simpler than that...maybe I just have stuff.  What I know for sure is that I don't need all of this.  I need a lot less stuff.  There is one of me, and yet I have multiples of stuff...big and small.  Why?

There is a hoarder in all of us....ALL of us.  What are you hoarding?  Remember...it isn't just the physical.  A lot of time we hoard physically to cover the emotional.  Something in you, in me, needs something.  What are you filling your need with?

Let me just say...when I started accumulating "stuff" I had the best of intentions...the best.  Somewhere along the way, I lost my mind (clearly).  As I go through yet another box of books, project ideas, cards I couldn't throw away, selling an extra vehicle, clothes and more clothes, scattered pictures, and lists (I could write a book on to do lists)...I am struck that I have more than I have the time to truly enjoy.  That is really where the rubber hits (not meet - hits) the road.  Beyond the fact that I have more than I need....I have more than I can TRULY enjoy.  *Ouch*

So...what are your hoarding?  What are you allowing yourself to hide in, behind, under?  Do you truly enjoy what you have, or do you simply 'have' things?  These are questions we all need to be asking ourselves.  I didn't like my answers.  Do you?

The Great Purge continues....I will keep you posted.  I have a ways to go....:)))

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)