Sunday, July 22, 2012

Letting Go...Learning What IT Really Means

I have written a lot about letting go over the past couple of years.  I believe those were "fine" posts.  I still believe that we/I need to "let go" of a lot of stuff.  That said, I learned this past week that I have been holding on to something tighter than any "junk" I might have had in the past.  I have been trying to do God's will...wait for it...on my own terms...wait for it...directing and controlling the process.  *Big Sigh* :)


Giving up control on anything and everything else was a piece of cake compared to this...I'm just sayin'.  :)

This past week I realized (all too well) that I cannot in good conscious advise kids to let go and have faith in God's will for their life and NOT have it shame me into checking my control freak nature at the door.  I love the song I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli (and yes...I know I am obsessed with her.) :)))

One of the (many) shockers for me this past week was realizing that one of my stumbling blocks in letting go of this was a fear that God would put me in a place where my heart was exposed.  Whoa.  That was scary simply to write.  If I control the process...I can protect my heart along the way.  That was my unspoken plan.  The Camp Caudle kids busted that plan wide open.  My heart is hurting right now.  I miss them, and I love them...BUT I wouldn't give up the experience in lieu of not having the pain. {Big pause for me as I write this...}

Today is "Auntie Day" and believe me when I say that I have been and am one super proud "Auntie" to three specific ones that have changed my life from day one to eternity and beyond, AND to so many that simply call me "Aunt Heather" as a term of endearment.  I love them all.  That love...that need...that I get from them...I have tried to contain and control. *Sigh* 

I digress...:)))

Sometimes the scariest thing is the ONE thing you need to let go and embrace...

"The best way out is always through." ~ Robert Frost

I am sad that it has taken me SO long to bust through this fear.  It is time for me to lose control of my destiny....I am terrified, but I am more terrified that if I don't...I am going to miss something amazing that God has planned for me.

What does letting go mean to you?  What scares you the most?  There is no better time than today to dive in and find out. :)  You will be glad you did...:)))

*To all of the "Aunties" out there....Happy Auntie Day!! :)))


Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)