I am being brave...(that is code for "please be proud of me"), but this (life) is very hard.
...and very lovely...
...and very frightening...
Don't kid a kidder. I know I am brave. I have lived on my own since I was 18 years old (emotionally since I was 9 years old). I know I am brave. I'm also tremendously good at portraying bravery even when my hands are shaking and my knees are knocking. First, I don't have a back-up plan for my LIFE (in general). Second, I know that 'fake it till you make it' is Truth personified. Finally, I am aware that it is easy to see men and women like me as bullet proof and that is such Bull. Nothing could be further from the truth.
So...the truth of the matter is that Sunday I had a breakdown in the middle of consuming the most beautiful and delicious brunch...Ever. I pushed forward. Yesterday, I had the bravest Monday of my life. Then last night in the middle of yoga (and the soundtrack of Eat Pray Love playing in the background), I laid my body out flat on the ground, looked up at the ceiling, and questioned just WTH I was doing. *Sigh*
The sincere art of being brave takes (near) constant effort. It isn't "Woo Hoo" all the time. It is challenging. It is lovely. It is frightening. It is life.
Remember it is okay to have those WTH moments. Remember it is okay to Woo Hoo. Remember it is okay if you have a day where you gravitate pretty rapidly between those two emotions. Remind yourself that doing so..simply means you are pushing yourself and your boundaries past the edges of safety and security....and THAT is okay. THAT in itself is BRAVE.
I got the loveliest note from a reader of my blog saying how much they loved reading it, and how brave I was in writing it...and in being so raw. I, for one, could not have imagined three years ago that I would be writing and revealing so much of myself, or even more...that someone would say thank you for doing so...what a sweet blessing.
I reveal that to say that we really have no idea what things we do or say in our lives that have meaningful impacts on others. It is such a reminder that others are watching and learning from us...especially when we do not expect it.
So...this is your single marching order...Be Brave. Period.
You. Will. Be. So. Glad. You. Did. :)))
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)