Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Truth Hurts ~ Lies Hurt More

"Team members need to be able to admit their weaknesses and their mistakes, to acknowledge the strengths of others and to apologize when they do something wrong."

Patrick Lencioni

I speak a lot about feedback, coaching, and speaking truth to power.  I live it too.  Every. Day.

For those of you struggling to give or receive feedback....give or receive coaching....or speak or receive truth to power....ponder this....

...which is better...

...living in denial oblivious to damage you may or may not be doing to someone (or a group of someones) or allowing someone else to live in their own denial OR learning the truth and being given the opportunity to change or help others change?

I get asked nearly every day...is it worth it? 

This week one of my mentors called and said, "Sunshine, how are you holding up?"  Now only three people on the planet call me that so that should tell you something. :)  I responded that I was hanging on. :)))

....and I am.

I digress. :)

Yes.  Yes, it is worth it. 

Someone...a whole lot of someones...have mentored, coached, and given me tons of feedback over the course of my career.  Honestly, all the way back to my first real job at 13.  The truth is that for better or worse, professionally, I would not be who or what I am today without the time and energy each of my mentors have devoted to me.  There is responsibility in that, and I take that very seriously.  I am not perfect, but being a leader, a coach, or a mentor has nothing to do with perfection.  In fact, I have probably learned as much from my mentors mistakes as their lessons, and I was allowed that because they trusted me to be "real" with me.  They didn't shun who and what they were, or try to be perfect.  They were real...in all of their humanity...and in all of their glory. 

We are at a cross roads in business, in politics, in religion...or maybe it is just me in my little world. ;)

We have the choice to get real with each other and really learn, grow, and be better.  Truly better.  Our other option is to continue down a path of self-destruction, zero trust in each other, zero faith in each other, and anger.

I am not angry.  Don't confuse my use of my voice as anger.  Not at all.  I will not be silent though when I see things that are wrong...in my life, in my work, in my world...and in my religion/faith. 

I am growing.  I hope we are all growing...if not, what really is the point?

I digressed a little...sorry. :)

My point is that I have no grand illusions that I am going to create a game changer for someone or their life.  I strive for it though...Every. Day.  I pray I am growing good people, and I continue to pray for those around me that they won't give up hope in growing a good person in me. 

I'm glad that I have hope. 

I continue to surround myself with people who also have hope....I am glad for each and every one of them.  Some of their truth to me may hurt, but I would rather hear that than grandiose lies about my (false) glories. I hope those that I mentor feel the same.  No matter what....truth may hurt from time to time, but lies...well lies always hurt more.


We are all growing...imperfect and eager. :)

Tomorrow is another chance to do more, be better.  If that isn't hope...what is?

I challenge you to give feedback tomorrow in kindness, and to ask for feedback and receive it in equal kindness.  It might very well change your day...if not your life. :)

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

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