Sunday, March 11, 2012

Time In Between and The Lessons There

I was driving alone to church this morning, and I was listening to this album Jordan had downloaded on my IPod while I did her make-up for senior pictures.  It was an artist I had never heard of, but I liked her sound while it was playing on Jordan's IPod yesterday.  So as I am driving along to meet my Sis and her family at church, this song started playing Time In Between by Francesca Battistelli, and I promise you that I started weeping during the first verse.

I am pretty sure this is what they mean when they say, "...and God met me there."

I was pretty sure I was having a revival in the ole' Rubicon. :)

The last three weeks...ah heck, lets just call it the last two months, have been brutal for me mind, body, soul, heart...



They are now 18, 14 and 12...Oh my.

I miss my kids. 

There is a lot going on, but in that moment in the jeep, I was thinking of my life...my kids.  It is funny how eighteen years ago and every day in between then and now, I hoped and prayed for all of the things I could teach them...devoted Aunt/"Nanny".  Today I was put on my knees by all of the wonderful things they (collectively and individually) have taught me. 

I am blown away, simply blown away by their servant hearts.  They show empathy in the smallest and largest of ways.  I know they don't realize it because when asked, they gently shrug their shoulders as if it is just another day in their life...because it IS...just another glorious day.

The pastor today when issuing the invitation stated, "I wouldn't worry about what someone thinks as you come forward.  I would worry about what the Lord thinks."  It was a "Whoa!" moment.

I should have gone forward this morning....I have a few things I am ready to lay down at the alter.  I have even more that has been laid in the past, that I am ready to re-up and lay down again...and this time (J.H.), I believe I am ready to get up off my knees and leave it where it lies.

I would not give anything for the time in between Jordan's birth to Sam's birth to Jon's birth to now.  I am grateful to God for giving me each of them and the time in between then and now to watch them grow and blossom....and to think of all of the life each of them (Lord willing) has in front of them...it takes my breath away.

Tonight I drove straight back and did an evening shift with Uncle Odale.  When I walked in, he said, "Now! Where have you been?"  Two days...I saw him Friday!  I love that.  I hope I live to be 91 and counting and can look at Sam coming to sit with me, and can say the same....loving and needing him as much as he will love and need me....still.  (I pray.) 

It is the time in between our birth and death that matter.  One life.  One ticket for the roller coaster of life.  I am humbled trying to live up to the breadth and depth of what they FULLY means...and I continue to try and honor the ticket I was granted...

Tonight I am a weepy, blessed, grateful, humbled girl on my knees.  Grateful not for the lessons I may have taught three beautiful children, but tremendously grateful for the lessons those three beautiful children continue to teach hard headed me.

I love you Jordan, Sam and Jon...I love you MORE, MOSTEST, and forever.  You continue to save me...over and over...and you don't even know it.  Bless your sweet hearts.

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)

No comments:

Post a Comment