I love feedback. I love the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I will admit that I prefer the good, but I am human. :) That said, I am know it isn't the good feedback that really molds you into a better person, it is the bad, and especially the ugly. I can feel you nodding because you know what I know, that what I am saying is painful but true.
I saw this quote this week...
"The mark of a real pro, no matter what the business, is recognizing that the absolutely best business information you can get is never found in a report or other secondhand information. It's a steady diet of nose-to-nose, constant, immediate, unfiltered feedback from your customers and employees." ~ Harvey Mackay
I loved it. I believe in it, first of all. Second, as much as I might preach it, it is something that even I can forget from time-to-time. I mean you have piles of reports and memos due, places to go, conference calls, appointments, and then all of a sudden a few weeks go by and you cannot remember the last time you had a heart-to-heart with someone on your team.
*Ouch*
I have had a lot of challenges lately that have forced me to be very brave, and I do mean very brave in giving feedback to people that I both love and admire. The problem...I have been scared to give it to them because I didn't know their reaction, I didn't want to hurt their feelings, yada yada. The problem, as I so horribly realized this week, some of my people feel the same way about me.
*Double Ouch*
...and now the ugly feedback begins...
Well, I haven't become an alcoholic, but God and I ARE moving from a once a day visit to minute-by-minute these days as I look to him and go how did I let this happen?? (BTW...this is not just in the area of feedback.) His response, you let yourself get too focused on the game and (albeit temporarily) forgot your players. Now, I don't know if that is God or my conscious screaming at me in my head, but someone is running a lot of instant replays in there. Calls I should have made instead of e-mailing. Times I should have taken a deep breath before responding to an e-mail or a phone call. Times I should have simply breathed. I'm supposed to be protecting my team, not sharing my stress with them, or causing them pain due to my stress. Well, I have probably done a little of all of that...and more. So, I am calling a timeout.
I am going to go and focus on someone else this weekend. It is both an unselfish and a selfish act. One of my best friends has been through the most stressful eight months of their life (or in the top two), and I have also been through the most stressful eight months of my life (or in the top ten). It might be for us, but my number one goal is focusing on them, and our relationship. I really believe some of my stress is guilt over leaving them at a pivotal time...I have been burying my own guilt, and it is time to let that go.
I digress. Sorry.
The point is that if you are not brave enough to receive feedback or give feedback, then you really have no excuse for whining about...well, anything. That said, those of us who believe this really need to make sure we are setting the tone so that people we need feedback from, feel safe to really give it to us.
So tonight's something I love is both that, and a "note to self". What can I say, the multi-tasking never ends. ;)
Ask for some feedback...IF you want to be better, ask for some feedback. You'll be glad you did. :)
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)