Saturday, January 21, 2012

What Are YOU Waiting On?

"A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault." ~ John Henry Newman

What are you waiting on?

What excuses are you using today?  Are they the same as the ones you used yesterday?


I come from a long line of perfectionists.  Men and women scared of being or showing anything less than perfect.  What a horrible way to live.

I fight that in my gene pool constantly....what has helped me the most over the last nearly twenty years has been watching my nieces and nephews be born, grow, and live lives with a sense of abandon that I could (and can) only vaguely remember from my own childhood.

I am swimming my way through tough times right now.  There are days (and nights) when I question each and every decision I have made through the course of a day, a month, a year.  Self-assessment is a great character trait, but I can quite nearly take it to the point that it is a flaw...a painful flaw.  One of my mentors recently told me that I have a martyr quality to my personality (just like him he added), and I quickly cried, "No!" until I quickly conceded yes...yes, I do.  *Sigh*

As a leader, a parent, a person with any responsibility for others...it is so hard to keep yourself from martyrdom from time-to-time.  People depend on you.  Lives, livelihoods, futures, businesses...are in your hands.  You ARE responsible.  It isn't simply being a martyr.  It is much more complicated.

I don't have time to wait for perfect timing, perfect weather, the starts to align...I have to operate in the NOW.  If you are waiting for all to be perfect, you will never move forward.  You will never allow yourself to savor the NOW. 

Allow me to digress...

First, a disclaimer...Pinterest is fantastic!

You can "Pinterest" your life or you can live your life.  We recently updated our loan policy at the bank (a task woefully overdue), and it was (and continues to be) necessary to teach all lenders that loan policy, at its best, is a guide.  It is not meant to be a crutch or an end-all-be-all as too many lenders across our industry treat their loan policies.  That said, Pinterest can be a guide for your life, but it can never subjugate you actually having a life. 

What are you waiting on?

I want to own my own business.  I want to write a book (who knew...not me until recently...okay it was on my 9 year old goal list, but even I didn't take it seriously).  I want to go back to Ireland (and I want to make it an annual trip).  I want to go to Africa.  If God leads me, I would adopt a dozen kids from anywhere to give them a chance for a better life.  I want to inspire my team, my fellow board members, my friends...to be more, to do more, to expect more...of themselves and others.  I want to inspire others to demand more than the status quo.  Just because it has always been this way (close minded, sexist, bureaucracy, a university hierarchy, or whatever it is) doesn't mean it has to STAY that way.  I want to see my babies more as they grow into adults that inspire and blow my mind and heart.  I want my body to stop failing me at every single turn, and I want to be brave enough to realize that half of the problem is that I don't treat it well.  I am too stubborn, and I need to really work to reduce and manage my stress....and STOP making excuses. 

I have lived my life on my own for a very, very long time. 

I have been waiting on signs, others, the stars to align...I have been making excuses. 

The funny thing about getting older is realizing that you have spent a lot of time waiting for life to happen to you...and while you were waiting for life...life was passing you by...

I have high expectations for myself...sometimes too high.  I can't afford to wait.  I have to live NOW.

This is a very personal post, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one who has days where the concept of "what are you waiting on" smacks them in the face while they are enjoying their morning coffee.


So, what are you waiting on?  Only broach the subject after you have put on your big girl panties and your brave face because the answer might be difficult to face.

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

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