It is strange to me that we know the word permission nearly from the time we are born. Our parents use it. Our teachers use it. Our pastors use it. The Bible even uses it. When you think about it, receiving and giving permission is quite a big deal.
Which makes me wonder...
Why do we never give permission to ourselves?
Maybe I should re-phrase that...Why does it require an epiphany before we think of giving permission to ourselves about taking a breath, savoring a moment, smelling a child's head, playing with the dog, reading a good book, taking a nap...and on and on?
I guess the bigger question is why do we even have to let our lives get to the point that we actually have to give permission to ourselves to savor the moments, our families, etc.?
I would call this an aha post. The cause? I woke up this morning with nowhere to go (unless I so chose). Nowhere to be (unless I so chose). No plans. No lists (not that it wouldn't take me half a second to make one). I woke up and asked myself for the first time in I have NO idea how long. What do I want to do today? We should all pause for a moment of silence (I did when I said it to myself...and yes I talk to myself, and yes I respond :) ). I then (in my head) told myself I had permission to do whatever I wanted to do today. The word permission was in my head. Where did that come from? The question started bugging me.
I mean, for the love of pete (by the way, who is Pete? exactly in that phrase), I am a grown, single woman. Permission? Outside of my heavenly father, I have no one to really answer to. Then it hit me, the drill sergeant in my head. That is who I normally answer to on a daily basis. Obviously the drill sergeant was still asleep this morning when the rest of me woke up.
Just the word, the sound of it, feels like a release in my heart. I can give myself permission to do whatever I want to with this day. We can have a great spiritual debate about giving the day to God, etc., but for the sake of arguing, let us just think of it as me, myself, and I for a moment.
What am I not giving myself permission to do? What are you?
I have a friend that has been and is kicking cancer's a$$, and I believe she should throw a party. I am wondering to myself if she has to give herself permission to breathe again, to feel the relief of a year long battle survived and won wash over her, to give herself permission to celebrate her life. LIFE.
I have someone at work that is a future Rock Star in their field, but taking the next step means stepping out of the role they could do in their sleep and stepping into a role that they know NOTHING about. They are stretching themselves far outside their comfort zone. They are testing their limits. They are growing. I told them just this week that they have to give themselves permission to grow...to be more. They can go back to their old role, but then they would never know what they were fully capable of...but they have to give themselves permission to be more, to try.
I know someone who is in love, but can't give them self permission to be happy. They fight and come up with every excuse I have ever heard (and goodness knows I have heard them all it seems) to keep themselves from being truly happy. Somewhere deep inside they don't believe they deserve it, and they cannot find the strength to give themselves permission to love and be loved.
What a beautiful, powerful word.
It is so easy for us to blame others or circumstances for why we don't lead the life we want, have the life we want, etc., but I would challenge that theory. I believe the heart of the problem is that we haven't given ourselves permission to lead the life we want. Permission to have the life we want. Permission to follow Jesus. Permission to fall in love. Permission to go for the dream job. Permission to lead your family differently and have a new dynamic. Permission. Permission.
What are you not giving yourself permission to do? More importantly, why are you not giving yourself permission?
Today I am glad for permission...the magic of the word, its meaning, and the endless possibilities that can spring forth from me simply giving it to myself.
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)