Sunday, December 18, 2011

Both Sides Now

I listened to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now tonight...the original (late 60s) and this link which is her singing it live in 2000. 

Wow. 

When you really listen to the words...this song, especially the newer version with Joni's raspy (years of smoking) voice and the full orchestra...well, if that does not move you...check yourself for a pulse.

What do any of us really know about anything?  Have you ever pondered that? 

I looked at my grandmother yesterday, and I saw more than I can put into words.  At 89 years of age, she has seen and experienced more than I can imagine, and for that alone, if nothing else, she has my utmost respect.  I look back at my complicated relationship with her over the course of nearly 40 years, and my emotions betray me as I lose my breath.  I love her fiercely through the veil, and I guard us both.  She is a walking paradox as, I am discovering, am I.  Granny is as much fluffy pink cotton candy as she is pure steel.  She is the sweetness of spring at one turn and as pointed as pine needles in her next breath.  She has a memory like an elephant and that is to say she remembers as she chooses, and she has earned that right. 


I love this photo.  Granny Dee at the Clinton Library.  A lifelong Southern Democrat; she loves Bill Clinton more than breath. :)

I wonder if I am blessed (or cursed) to live to 89 years of age what wisdom (Lord willing) I will be able to bestow to those around me.  I wonder, as I age, if I will become mellow, or bitter as I have seen some do, or even kinder like a Miss Rosemary who is as sweet as her famous strawberry cake. 


I took this picture of Uncle Odale and Miss Rosemary back in 2006; last weekend I found it tucked in his wallet.  I love him; I love them.  They teach me love every time I am around them. :)

I look back at my life these past 40 years, and I wonder if I have done enough.  Lets say I live to be 80, I am truly at the mid-point of my "both sides...".  Sobering.

Amen.

I switched to Facebook's Timeline tonight, and that exercise alone might have caused some of this...reflection.  I also have two new publishing opportunities with new deadlines, and I am terrified and thrilled simultaneously.  I am 7 days from Christmas, and I have 3..maybe 4 gifts purchased, zero cards mailed, and only my sweet Charlie Brown tree Leon cut for me up for decoration in my room.  I have 3+ months worth of work to accomplish over the next two weeks in the office.  All of that, those are the flaming items...then there are the mundane tasks of life...renew tags, laundry, clean house, oil change, get Jeep and that major transmission issue checked out (nearly wrecked in Little Rock last week because of it), deposit checks, pay bills, cook, cook, cook, and...Life.


Both Sides Now...

I have a ways to go before I can really chalk up that I have seen both sides...of anything really.  What I do know though (as I do my year-end self assessment) is that "...I really don't know life at all..."  I am just trying every day.  Every. Day.

Super Duper Amen!

I am a big believer in self assessment on a regular basis, but especially at year-end, and I am taking this year's exercise extremely seriously.  I hope that you are inspired to do your own "end of year assessment" to determine what went right this year, what went wrong, and what plans do you need to put in place so you do better in the new year....and that is just for starters. :)

Trust me on this...one planaholic to another...you will be glad you did. 

No illusions here...I am still a work-in-process, still learning, still growing, still screwing up...daily if not hour-to-hour.  I long for a life well lived, and that happens one day at a time, one choice at a time.

I don't plan on cheering in the new year...as much as I plan on closing my eyes (okay maybe one eye peeking) and jumping into it...:) :)

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~ Robert Frost

Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :) 

No comments:

Post a Comment