I finally broke down and made a decision yesterday that was at most a year coming, and at the least six months in coming. It was hard. Correction, it was very hard.
Today, I feel as if I have been punched in the gut. I am lethargic, slightly ill, sad, aggravated, and ever so slightly relieved.
Why admit all of that? Well, a lot of people will tell you to simply rip the band-aid and you will feel better, and for the most part that is usually true. BUT, not always. One must also be prepared for those decisions that when you finally make them, leave you feeling more..not less..ick.
I know that I have made the right decision. I know that it is necessary to shut that door and continue through the one I am presently half-way through, but that does not make it any less difficult to bite the bullet and do it.
Sometimes when life gives you lemons...all you have is lemons, and let me say, that is okay too.
I have had an emotionally charged week with a wonderful and crazy Halloween, my father's 69th birthday, a day of work meetings on Tuesday that I would not dump on my worst enemy (yet I secretly enjoyed...lots of learning there), and then yesterday with its major bullet.
What I have re-learned this week is that life is not for the faint of heart. At least not my life, and I think I am in the majority on this one.
I have also been cruelly reminded that I miss my friends, but that I really am doing the best I can at juggling the responsibilities of my life. I am reminded that many are fooled by how well I am juggling, and frankly, many are NOT fooled. They have my number. Clearly.
One thing I have learned in decision making too is to know your end game and never lose site of it. Yesterday, it became my mantra as I repeated it over and over in my head. You can't be short-sighted about things...not the big things. Decisions have to be made A, B, C....you simply cannot do A, Z, D, N...I mean you can, but what you will have is one giant mess. Trust me, I know people who do this. Heck, I have done it, and more often than I would like to admit.
On my tombstone I want it to read, "Make the plan; work the plan." because those are words to live by, BUT that doesn't make either the plan making, OR working that plan any easier on the hard stuff. So you simply get down to the nut cutting, bite the bullet and move on.
I am...and as soon as my gut stops churning, my head stops pounding, and my pocketbook stops throbbing....I am sure I will be just fine. :)
Bite the bullet today on something that has been hanging over your head like a bad toothache...after the withdraws...you will be glad you did. :)
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)