This weekend was absolutely gorgeous in North Arkansas, and I do mean GORGEOUS. The bad news was that the wasps were EVERYWHERE. They were definitely swarming and deciding where to build their summer homes. While relaxing on the deck, I sat there watching them buzz by my head. They seemed to be chasing each other back and forth and everywhere. If I wasn't a teeny tiny bit scared of them, it would have been amusing.
Well, after church last night, Leon and I were helping Wesley get his truck pulled out. It is really an embarrassing story for Wesley, yet a story of redemption for me...but I will let it go at simply...we were helping him out. As the three of us jumped in my Jeep to head to the top of the mountain, a wasp flew into the front with us, and I immediately jumped out. Wesley went to get it out, and it fell down in between the dash and the windshield. So we headed up. A few minutes later after Leon and I jumped back into the Jeep to follow Wesley, Leon looked at me and said, "What do we do if that wasp flies out while we are driving?" Clearly he was still thinking about it and a little concerned. I said, "No worries. We'll deal with it if and when it flies out, but it is probably gone." He seemed okay with that and we went along with our evening.
This morning I have to admit, I looked around before I climbed in the Jeep to head to Little Rock. Seeing nothing, I didn't really think anything about it. It was raining and hailing, so I was distracted just trying to safely navigate the roads. About 15 minutes into my drive, I saw something out of the corner of my left eye, but I thought it was a leaf or something caught on my windshield wiper. Suddenly, the distraction got bigger as it moved up the windshield, and I quickly realized it was the wasp. Now I am driving down the road at about 60 mph so I roll down the window, grab my paper calendar, and while driving trying to swoosh it towards the window. I nearly wrecked. So I look around, and then just stop in the middle of the road so I can swoosh it all the way out. Within seconds, it is gone, and I am on my way.
That is when I started thinking...
First, I thought how funny it was going to be to tell Leon that the wasp had indeed survived his Pops yesterday and decided to surprise me while driving this morning. Second, I thought for all of my calmness in my answer to Leon yesterday about what would we do, I had continued to worry about that wasp last night and even this morning. Third, when it did surprise me, I simply stopped (literally) and dealt with it. Fourth, it was done.
Why do we always have to follow this process? Why can't we simply skip number two and not worry so much about things we cannot control? Why can't we just trust ourselves that when the time comes, we will deal with it?
My lesson today...I do not trust myself enough. I have GOT to change that.
We are currently studying Thessalonians on Sunday nights in our Bible Study Group. Last night it was discussed how these letters were written to, and for, these people who were SO fresh to their faith. Paul was having to, in a sense, micromanage these new Christians. In a sense, Paul didn't trust them that they could handle their new found faith, nor should he have (in most cases) truth be told. Just like any manager, Paul was frustrated that he could not be in more than one place at a time. He worried that he had not given them enough instruction, or too much. He struggled to delegate. He worked to keep his frustrations and temper in check. He took it personally, yet he fought to keep it on point ~ Jesus.
All of this makes me wonder why don't we trust each other anymore? Why don't we trust ourselves anymore? Is it so impossible to have the faith of a child?
I am wondering too....this post has taken a turn I wasn't expecting. The first half was written in my head this morning while I was still driving (including title); I am not sure where this second half has come from. My heart tells me I should leave it at this...leave it for me, and the reader, to ponder.
The truth is, somehow I think this is going to leave a mark.
Do you trust like Leon? Are you a micromanager like Paul? Are you angry and hiding it? Here is a hint, you aren't. Do you trust yourself? Are you trusting those that you love most by being honest with them? Is your honesty shared with love?
Do not kid yourself. Trust is difficult. Work. Life. Love. Religion. Friendship. Trust is difficult.
Try it. I have faith that you will be glad you did.
Sunshine Dreams to You ~ Today and Every Day! :)