I apologize that I have been away for a few days...life got a little hectic (well more so than usual).
In the last several days, I have seen an abused child rescued, a grown man become a real life superhero, seen the highs and lows of a day in the life of our legal system, read the words of hundreds of teenagers hoping to get scholarship money for college, seen the highs and lows of a day in the life of our university systems, shared laughter with new friends and old, driven hundreds of miles, had my heart pierced by the words of a text message, a child, and the words of a song (not in that order), and I have barely slept.
I have enough blog material for...well, awhile. :)
I am also behind in my Facebook 30 Day Photo Challenge (see paragraph above), and when I looked at it tonight for the next one I had to post, it was "Day 06 ~ A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day." Now there are lots of people I would love to shadow or spend a day in their moccasins, yet tonight the thing that kept sticking out to me was a picture of me when I was 4 years old. The only place I knew to find it was my other blog ~ "Dream Building In The Hollow" in an entry I wrote in April 2010, and of course I had to re-read that post. After the week I have had, I couldn't believe how that post spoke to me...again today.
At the end of the post, I closed with the following:
"Heather's little takeaway lesson from this post...Grab a kid, build them up, believe in them, share their dreams, and inspire them to forge on and make those dreams happen for themselves....Now go change the world ~ one dream at a time!!! :)"
I just spent two days reading scholarship applications, and if they are any indication of the intelligence and depth of our young people, then we just might be okay. There are some tremendous kids out there doing tremendous things in high school, and the whole time they are zeroed in on getting into a good college. It is inspiring. I look forward to seeing what the next group of scholarship recipients will do at the University of Arkansas. I hope our belief in them does in fact inspire them to forge on and make all of their dreams happen.
Most of the way home from Fayetteville, I found myself listening to this song called "Fly Away" by Sweet Talk Radio. It has to be one of the prettiest songs I have ever heard. As I listened, drove, (and cried...the scholarship review experience alone can be emotionally draining), I thought about the past week. I thought about this abused child and the fight in front of him to be allowed to simply live in a safe home. I thought of these high school seniors about to get their wings and take off on their own journey. I thought about my own journey, and what gives me wings and what causes me to crash to the ground. What a thought...
This led to me thinking of my own urge to "fly away" every once in awhile. It is a character trait that I fight on a regular basis, and I am fighting it now. I don't like drama. I mean, I really hate drama. Unfortunately, just like every other human being, I have my limit. My problem is that I sometimes tend to let it build to the point that when the limit gets hit, it can get ugly. I am not proud of this trait, but I am proud that I recognize it. I also have worked a lot as an adult to curb it. Let me just say to all of those readers out there that have a personality flaw they try to overcome on a daily basis...I am with you; it is NOT easy. Also, it doesn't get any easier, and anyone that tells you that is in denial. I visited the land of denial for awhile, and like the Eagles' classic "Hotel California"...it is easy to enter and hard to leave.
BTW ~ I absolutely love the Eagles; HATE this song.
There is a post I am going to write someday about "non negotiables". It is a topic I have discussed with girlfriends at nauseau over the years, and it is a topic every person, at every age, should have with themselves. The hard reality is that every day of your life is a negotiation. How will you spend your time? Who will you spend your time with? I don't want to digress too much here because seriously this is a LONG post on its own, but it is important for everyone to know what gives you wings and what, frankly, does not.
I have sacrificed a lot in my life for other's happiness, and I know that anyone who reads this is nodding because they have done the same. There is NOTHING wrong with that, per se, but at some point you have to ask yourself if you are just being a martyr because that is more comfortable than stepping out, being bold, grabbing the brass ring...trudging your own path. Sometimes I think there is a fine line between martyr and Superman.
Lets all sit and ponder that last thought for awhile...I know I need to; plus, I need to get ready for church. :) I think it is time to make a list of what gives you wings and what grounds you. It is maybe time to re-negotiate your life (so to speak), and the first set of negotiations are with YOURSELF. You are your toughest critic, adversary and bartering partner. You know its true.
The things I am glad for today are too numerous...my writing that allows me to write what I cannot speak, my father who gave me wise counsel while I sped to Fayetteville at dawn on Friday; my baby sister who gave me equally wise counsel as I sped home late Saturday; Hulu and Google that worked in tandem to help me find a song that I heard 20 seconds of at the end of a show and somehow found with the help of amazing technology; and for a God that continues to place people in my life at the right time to make me face what I cannot face on my own.
Fly away like the seed of a dandelion...
What are you glad for today? Try this one...be glad that you have another day to find your wings. If you have already found yours, help someone else find theirs. Everyone deserves the chance to "Fly Away"...:)
